I just want to drop. Drop dead? No, I don’t think so. What I need is to drop right out of existence. I am exhausted and overwhelmed, frustrated and weary. Lately, I’ve had too many days like today. It was Ground Hog’s Day yet again.
I didn’t even have the energy to untie my shoelaces so I simply pried them off by driving the front of one foot into the heel of the other until the shoe popped off. Yeah, yeah. It probably took more time and required more energy to do that than using the proper method.
I don’t care.
The point is I should have walked straight to bed and face planted into a pillow, but here I am, typing. Why? What compels me to do this on a day such as today. A day that has bested me on every level. Furthermore, how is it that I came to have such a day? I had experienced a string of good days, full of hope and light.
And then today came.
Why the shift?
Sometimes, my moods remind me of the surreal, science-fiction film, Cube. In it, a group of people awake inside of a series of cube-shaped rooms without any memory as to how they came to be there. The strangers must figure out a way to escape the labyrinthine structure which proves difficult for several reasons, most notable among those are the deadly booby-traps that dot the landscape.
However, the traps are really just a distraction. Navigating the titular compound is the real problem because the bastard, get this, rotates and revolves. The characters must crack some numerical code to escape the claustrophobic enclosure.
Are you beginning to appreciate the difficulty of the task? It’s like trying to solve a gigantic Rubix’s Cube of death from the inside. You can imagine the domino effect one wrong move can produce. My mood seems to be of a similar, complex craftsmanship.
I’d like to hang my hat on the fact that none of the booby-traps have successfully claimed me but that doesn’t necessarily improve my odds of escape, no it only increases the chance that I’ll succumb to thirst, starvation or insanity.